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Review: Warped Tour in Columbus
from: donewaiting.com

This year marked my sixth (though not sixth consecutive) trip to Kevin Lyman’s Warped Tour. In its twelfth year, I expected the day to closely follow the format of past outings – kids with funny haircuts, piercing and tattoos getting dehydrated and sunburned while taking in all manner of musical act and extreme athlete. That is exactly what I saw.

Hellogoodbye, a favorite of last season’s MTV Real World cast, goofed their way through a very theatrical, though not tremendously musical performance. Bassist Marcus Cole and keyboardist Jesse Kurvink, who were dressed as mustard and Pinocchio respectively (I think), blasted their young and enthusiastic crowd with silly string repeatedly though they barely touched their instruments for minutes at a time. Singer Forrest Kline, who was dressed like a senior citizen sang, "What is love/Baby don’t hurt me/Don’t hurt me, no more," through a "talk box" along with the pre-programmed beats. I might have been more impressed had I never seen or heard Reggie And The Full Effect, and perhaps many of the younger attendees in their audience hadn’t. While their performance was affable, it wasn’t one of the day’s best.

Seconds after Hellogoodbye wrapped things up, Pittsburgh’s Anti-Flag bolted onto the second of two main stages. Dressed in black and with their mohawks spiked high, Justin Sane and Chris #2 immediately launched into a series of verbal and musical assaults on police brutality, the press, and the current administration. The band’s high energy set, which combined older material with songs from their RCA release For Blood And Empire ("1 Trillion Dollars"), was well received by the sizeable crowd. Reminders from the band to the crowd to dance safely and treat each other with respect were earnest, and even the discourse about provisions to the No Child Left Behind Act showed that the band has their fanbase’s best interests at heart. My heart beat a little faster and fist pumped a little higher when the band launched into their older anti-war anthem "Die For Your Government." It was nice to see Justin Sane posing for pictures with fans a little later in the afternoon. Consider them a must see for future visits to the tour.

Ganesville, Florida’s Less Than Jake, the day’s only ska act, followed Anti-Flag. The boys played a good mix of their vintage material ("Losing Streak" and "Johnny Quest (Thinks We’re Sellouts)") and their newer material (songs from In With The Out Crowd). During songs where the horn section was less involved, saxophonist JR Wasilewski and trombonist Buddy Schaub led the singalongs, shot t-shirts into the crowd with an air gun, and bounced around all corners of the stage. Mid-set, vocalist/guitarist Chris Demakes told the enthusiastic crowd to put their hands together. Vinnie Fiorello lead the beat with his foot pounding the kick drum, while nearly everyone in the crowd clapped above their heads. With a smirk, Demakes said, "We’re applauding all the bad haircuts at this year’s Warped Tour." Amen, brother.

When Less Than Jake finished their set, I took the opportunity to search for the Ernie Ball stage where Dayton, Ohio’s The Story Changes were scheduled to play. I managed to locate the band and the Future Destination Records’ merch tent, but was informed by singer/guitarist Mark McMillan that I’d missed the band’s early afternoon performance. I sure hope that someone was able to catch them since the band had spent the last two and a half days (more than 30 driving hours) in the van racing to make the Columbus date of the tour. I was also very pleased to see that the Ernie Ball stage was moved closer to the main thoroughfare. Two years ago it was buried on the opposite corner of the Amphitheater, a significant hike away from any of the other stages.

I managed to make it back to the main stage in time to see Buffalo, New York’s Every Time I Die wrapping things up. The band had the kids worked up, and I noticed a respectable circle pit near the front of the stage. The self-declared "odd men out" of the tour treated us to cuts from the last two Ferret releases, concentrating on material from Gutter Phenomenon. ETID win the award for classiest stage clothes of the day, with one of the guitarists sporting a sleeveless tuxedo t-shirt while bass player Chris Byrnes sported a molester mustache and a shirt that said "I will 100% eat you out."

The Buzzcocks, whose namesake comes most ironically from British slang meaning youngster, were noticeably worse for the wear. Though the band is famous for their part in the 70s punk boom, the crowd seemed mostly uninterested. I can’t blame them. Some members of the band were wearing what can best be described as Dockers and the only person who seemed to catch "dance fever" during their underwhelming set was the onstage guitar tech who looked remarkably like Metallica’s James Hetfield. I abandoned their performance to watch the athletes over at the vert ramp.

While at the vert ramp, I managed to also catch a portion of the set by Fueled By Ramen’s The Academy Is… on the Hurley stage. Serenading their mostly female audience with songs from Almost Here (I recognized "Checkmarks," "Black Mamba" and "Slow Down"). vocalist William Beckett was swinging the microphone and strutting around the stage in the tightest pair of jeans I’ve ever laid eyes on. The band sounded better live than they do on CD though, and the crowd seemed to be enjoying every second.

I returned to the main stage area just in time to see the dirtiest, most horrifyingly b-grade rip-off of My Chemical Romance anyone could possibly imagine -- Los Angeles, California’s From First To Last -- taking the stage. Fresh off of their recent stint on Fall Out Boy and Hawthorne Heights’ Black Clouds and Underdogs Tour, Epitaph’s FFTL were a clear crowd favorite. I don’t get it. Smothered in corpse paint and mud, and with one guitarist sporting black speedo underwear with FFTL on the butt, the band banged their way through a set that had been extended 15-minutes due to some sort of popularity contest. Vocalist Sonny Moore is a foul-mouthed, Dark Crystal look-alike whose charming stage-banter consists of statements like "This isn’t a Brittany Spears concert. Get your fucking ass up!" I decided to use the remainder of their set to catch some shade in the pavilion where the Volcom and Vagrant stages were.

Though we just missed my favorite t-shirt sweat guzzling, mustache-sporting band from Venus who stole the show last year (Valient Thorr) on the Volcom stage, we did manage to catch two of the very homely dudes from Victory Records horror-punk act Aiden looking misunderstood and depressed whilst trying smoothing up on a couple of decent looking honeys. Also passed the very fair skinned Aaron Gillespie (drummer/vocalist of Underoath) who was sporting a wife beater t-shirt. He’s going to have a miserable Summer if he isn’t careful to reapply the sun tan lotion often -- that dude is white.

For the mohawked, gutter punk set (which was drastically underrepresented this year), The Casualties were the days must-see act. Strangely enough, I stood next to two different moms (of the mini-van driving, soccer mom set) and their kindergarteners during this set. Listening to singer Jorge drop the f-bomb and sing the praises of the 40 oz, whilst surrounded by blissfully hyperactive rugrats was strange. The band dedicated a song to the late, great Joey Ramone, even turning out their cover of "Blitzkrieg Bop" late in the set. Guitarist Jake’s gravity defying fluorescent green mohawk and Jorge’s bright orange liberty spikes are definitely deserving of a peek.

Underoath played to one of the largest, most enthusiastic crowds of the day. Crowd surfing was particularly popular during their set. I kept my fingers crossed that the girl in the bikini top, who ended up riding a sea of hands to the front more times than I could count, would be able to keep that top on each time I saw her. Thankfully (for her, not the person that edits the section of embarrassing reader submitted moments at the back of Seventeen magazine) she was able to keep it on. Unfortunately for Underoath, the set was marred by an underwhelming soundboard mix. Vocalist Spencer Chamberlain and keyboardist Chris Dudley kept the energy high though, with Chamberlain climbing all over the monitors and doing his best Axl Rose-like slither dance and Dudley waving his arms and leading the audience singalongs. The band played songs from their 2004 breakout full-length They’re Only Chasing Safety, but also sprinkled the set with songs from 2006’s Define The Great Line, including "In Regards To Myself" and "Writing on the Walls" (which I believe is the first single from the record). Toward the end of the set, Chamberlain explained that the band was doing their set for Jesus Christ, as he did during their set at the Attic earlier this Spring, adding a disclaimer that it didn’t mean they don’t respect any differing convictions in their audience. Though I’m sure this will prove to be a point of contention throughout the Summer for other bands and members of the audience, I commend Chamberlain and the rest of the band for their bravery and honesty.

Helmet were the band that I was most looking forward to (hands down). I followed the band throughout the nineties – Strap It On, Meantime and Betty are among my all-time favorite hardcore records – even managing to catch them in Cleveland while interning at Alternative Press in 1997. While we waited for the band to take the stage, the meager and significantly older audience that gathered by the stage were taunted by a guy representing Cingular Wireless, who told the "fags waiting for Helmet" that Helmet would be autographing things after their set at the Cingular trailer. While NOFX spent most of their set stereotyping and berating Christians as homophobic, unfortunately not one thing was said about the offensive, foul-mouthed rep from Cingular. But we’ll talk more about NOFX in a minute. Helmet frontman Page Hamilton took the stage joined by Jets to Brazil bassist Jeremy Chatelain and Orange 9mm guitarist Chris Traynor. Their set concentrated primarily on brand new material, which was particularly disappointing considering the band’s 17-year-long resume. In fact, Hamilton made it a point of responding to requests for older material in the most prickish way possible saying, "No way. Here’s two more new songs." While incredibly loud, the new material isn’t tremendous in my estimation – it all sounded like Metallica (post The Black Album) to me for some reason. Did Hamilton also really sing, "I need somebody just like you/somebody I can talk to?" Even Pete Wentz puts more thought into his lyrics than that. Three of the four members of Against Me!, who are a lot shorter than I imagined them to be, looked equally underwhelmed as they watched from the audience. Though Hamilton treated his audience with indifference (bordering on disdain) for most of the set, he did pull out "Just Another Victim" from the Judgement Night Soundtrack, and Meantime’s title track to close out their 30-minutes.

After Helmet’s set, I took the opportunity to get some water and shade. Canada’s Moneen played the Vagrant Stage in the pavilion area during my brief break. Though I’m not terribly familiar with the band’s back catalogue, and they weren’t doing anything to really "blow my skirt up," they did slightly remind me of another powerhouse rock act from the north – their buddies Alexisonfire. That is a good thing I guess.

I wandered back to the main stage to the sounds of Chicago’s Rise Against. The band played aggressive, guitar-driven punk songs from their new album, The Sufferer & The Witness, veering away from the sound of their acoustic hit "Swing Life Away" (unless I missed it, though I doubt it). Singer Tim McIlrath reminded the crowd that the day wasn’t "about merchandise, or cellular phones it is about the music," which I found somewhat endearing amongst acts like Helmet who are apparently hyping for Cingular.

Taking the stage for the day’s most purposely offensive, disappointingly short-sighted and sloppy performance were Warped Tour veterans NOFX. Explaining that their run would consist of songs that "Christians will hate," Fat Mike and crew began a set that consisted of "The Brews," "Louise," "You’re Wrong," Reagan Sucks," "Leaving Jesus Land," Separation of Church and Skate," and the rousing "Idiot Son of An Asshole." The band was flanked onstage by Anti-Flag’s Justin Sane, the singer from Aiden and JOAN JETT (though none of them joined the band for their performance). Fat Mike took a couple of digs at main stage tourmates Underoath (for their Christianity) and poked fun at El Jefe’s Mexican heritage. He topped off the banter with disparaging remarks about Columbus, which he called a "turd town," and accused the Ohio of losing the election. Jefe was saddled with guitar troubles for most of the set, though one such glitch provided the set’s highlight. Jefe said, "God, if you really exist, make my guitar work," and it did. Fat Mike left the stage encouraging the crowd to camp out for JOAN JETT instead of walking the short distance across the blacktop for Motion City Soundtrack’s far more enjoyable set. That, amongst other things, was the kind of total dick move that I guess makes NOFX the kind of piss and vinegar punk band they pride themselves on being though.

Minneapolis’ Motion City Soundtrack, led by crazy haired vocalist/guitarist Justin Pierre, displayed their pop genius and likeability, while flawlessly delivering material from their two Epitaph releases, Commit This To Memory and I Am The Movie. The crowd sang every word of older material ("My Favorite Accident" and set-closer "The Future Freaks Me Out") as well as many of their newer gems ("Everything Is Alright"). The MVP of the band may have been synth player Jesse Johnson, who performed motorcross-esque stunts atop of his keyboard – my favorite being the full handstand. MCS’s music is catchy, has wit, and is just good clean fun. I’m not ashamed to admit that I danced and sang my way through the duration of their performance.

Considering that I’ve managed to catch The Bouncing Souls at dozens of punk shows and other Warped Tours I’ve attended over the years, I headed to the restroom to refill my water jug and check the status of my increasingly painful sunburn. I did manage to catch the end of their fiercely fun set. These New Jersey-based punk mainstays have heart.

Also from New Jersey, pop emo veterans Saves The Day followed The Bouncing Souls on the other main stage. Vocalist Chris Conley, who awkwardly sported pink hair, is currently keeping company with former Glassjaw bassist Manny Carrero and Pete Parada, who I believe was previously manning the skins for Face To Face. This four person line-up (which is rounded out by guitarist David Soloway) requires Conley to provide the band’s rhythm guitar parts. On a side note, members of Senses Fail and Chris #2 from Anti-Flag (who knew every word) watched from the wings as Saves The Day debuted material from Sound The Alarm and delighted the crowd with the lyrically dark and melodically bright favorites from the previous records. High points for me were Through Being Cool’s "Rocks Tonic Juice Magic," "Holy, Hox Forget Me Nots" and Stay What You Are’s "At Your Funeral" and "As Your Ghost Takes Flight," though new material like "Head For The Hills was good too. I would’ve killed to have heard the band my favorite, "You Vandal," but despite overlooking it I willingly admit that STD and Conley were in top form.

30-year rock and punk veteran JOAN JETT and her BLACKHEARTS, who has absolutely nothing to prove to anyone considering her resume – fronting the RUNAWAYS, producing the Germs, developing her own independent record label, etc. -- delivered one of the finest most enjoyable performances of the day. Bikini top clad, and looking totally foxy, Jett opened her performance with a slightly slower tempo version of "Bad Reputation" and segued into "Cherry Bomb." Jett and the BLACKHEARTS also used the opportunity to debut material from their new album, SINNER, before veering back to the classics. She closed the show with "I Love Rock N Roll." Attendees of all ages, sexes, musical preferences seemed to come to a consensus during her set – JOAN JETT is a bad ass!

The temperatures started to drop a little by the time Rutgers New Jersey’s Thursday took the main stage, which seemed to renew the vigor of the crowd who went apeshit when vocalist Geoff Rickly and company began playing. Despite their tumultuous past, which has been plagued with breakup rumors and underwhelming major label debuts, Thursday seemed tighter than ever. The band were clearly giving it their all, though Rickly set cranked things up a notch, climbing everything in site – the kick drum, the speakers, the guitar stacks, etc. He used downtime between songs to do a Genius GZA style segue from a story about an airplane ride in Australia straight into a hard hitter from A City By The Light Divided. He also encouraged music downloading, an issue that the band has taken a clear stand on since touring behind Full Collapse. He may also have taken a dig at NOFX explaining that people can love and make changes in their country by being involved in activism rather than being complacent and pissing and moaning about how much America sucks. Musically, this post-hardcore act is as strong as they’ve ever been and "Understanding in a Car Crash," "For The Workforce, Drowning," "County" and "Jet Black New Year" were the barn burners of their set.

Last, and in no way least, were the most balls-to-the-wall, empowering band of the day, Gainesville, Florida’s anarcho-punk-folk act Against Me!. Unfortunately, their 7:55 start time meant not many people stayed to for their powerful and unbelievably fun set. Vocalist/guitarists Tom Gabel and James Bowman went full bore from stop to finish, and drummer Warren Oakes’ every present smile was contagious. The crowd knew every word of Against Me!’s socio-political anthems such as "Cliché Guevara," "T.S.R. (This Shit Rules)," "From Her Mouth To God’s Ears (The Energizer)" and "Don’t Lose Touch. During the last song, bassist Andrew Seward and Gabel traded instruments in mid-air, and Seward took over drum duties while Oakes group hugged the band’s fans in the circle pit. This was a tremendous performance that left me wondering if Against Me! might be the Billy Bragg or The Clash of our generation.

With that, the day ended on an extremely high note. Warped Tour knocked it out of the park again. I can’t wait until 2007!
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